What the...?

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If you know me at all, you should know to be thankful that I have a filter at all right now. Because all I really want to do is sit and cry and smoke and drink and curse like a *@#&ing sailor.

I hate pity parties and I refuse to participate in them for longer than 2-3 days. Just when I move past one, something else happens and I’m right back in another pity party. December 2012 has sucked and I‘m pretty much over it.

Oh my goodness, what is she rambling about NOW?

Not only do I have a golf-ball sized itchy hive on my back that will NOT GO AWAY. But I am also having a herpes outbreak for the first time in about 5 years. What the…? Well, let me tell you what the… This flipping flu virus is so brutal that my immune system just can’t handle it anymore. My strong, healthy immune system has gone on strike and now every dormant disease in my body is running around having a party. WHAT THE…?

So today, when our pediatrician asked if I wanted to give my kids -who have the flu- the flu shot, I didn’t know if I should cry or punch her. My daughter has been randomly crying all day because she has been sick for a month… no, I don’t want to put one more thing in her little body so her immune system can completely shut down. And no, I do NOT want her to get the flu again. 

SHOOT.ME.NOW! 

We didn’t get it. And won’t. And the doctor was really sweet about it. She was just trying to be helpful. I really do adore her.

I am naturally a very negative person. I have to actively work at being positive and looking on the bright side of things. I am failing miserably right now. Just ask my poor facebook friends. Shoot, most have probably blocked me at this point. I’m sure I would have. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

So what is my point in writing this post? I have no clue. I know God is big and holy and just and that I’m being a big baby. And I totally get that things could be so much worse. But right now, my world is as bad as I’d like it for awhile. And I’m really struggling not to be completely depressed while continuing to be trapped in the sick ward in Schneiderland. So maybe my point in writing this post is to say that I’m real and I’m broken right now and I’m really sorry for being so negative. And maybe if you are struggling in this season like I am, it will help to know that someone else who “gets” God is having an annoying pity party too.

Bleh.

Something Uncomfortable: Day 154

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I’m still freaking out about this whole asthma/allergy situation at my son’s school. He starts kindergarten in 6 days and I’m having a hard time getting info from the nurse/school about what forms we actually need.

Today I realized that no matter what, I just have to trust that it will be OK. I’m taking him to the allergist tomorrow. I’ve printed off every allergy/asthma form I can find on the district’s website. I’m just going to have to trust that we have all we need and if we don’t… then I’ll get it taken care of on the first day of school.

I push the lock button on my car two times, every time I get out of it. Not being overly prepared for dropping my babies off to strangers is obviously uncomfortable for me. And I’m not so good at trusting. I guess this is good practice. Bleh!

When is the last time you trusted someone?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 146

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You know those scenes in movies where someone walks into a room and they become overwhelmed by what’s happening so everything starts moving in slow motion? That’s totally what kindergarten registration was like for me today. But NOT for the reasons I would have expected.

First there was the whole “pick up these forms if your kid has allergies or asthma” situation at the nurse’s station. There is actually a form that I have to sign saying it’s OK for my 5-year-old son to determine when he needs to use his inhaler and then administer it to himself. Are you flipping kidding me? Um, the only time he has used his rescue inhaler has been when he’s needed to be rescued by his Mommy… in the middle of the night… while he couldn’t breathe. There has never been any self-medicating. There has only been I’m going to pin you down and make you breathe this stuff if you don’t calm down and work with me because you’re not breathing!!!! I’ve made some phones calls. Vomit. We have an appointment with his allergist next week to reassess his situation since he’s off all maintenance drugs and come up with an emergency action plan for school. Shoot.me.now!

And then there was the PTO. I saw the table, realized what was about to happen and had to convince myself NOT to run in the opposite direction. I talked to the moms stationed at the table. Vomit. I told them I would be willing to help but I wasn’t sure how yet. Vomit. I even signed their little sheet and gave them my phone number. I.could.die! If I’m going to be involved in my child’s education, which I intend to be, I’m going to have to interact with new people. How did I miss that part? Not gonna lie… there have been a LOT of curse words rolling around my brain today.

Parenting is so hard that it’s just ridiculous. Not only to I have to let some strangers (that I did NOT interview and hand-pick) take care of my baby 6½ hours, 5 days a week, but I have to overcome some of my biggest fears in order to protect him and be involved in this huge part of his life. Guess I’m not going to be running out of uncomfortable things to blog about any time soon… Did I mention the back to school picnic?

If you are a parent, what unexpected uncomfortable situation did you face when your kids started going to school?

Our Un-McVersary

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Our what? According to my QuickBooks file, we have not eaten at McDonald's (or any similar fast-food chain) since June 24, 2011. Happy Un-McVersary to the Schneiders!

Prior to that date, I was not functioning well because of my hormone imbalance. Some days the brain fog would be so bad that I physically could not make dinner… or lunch… or do anything that required me getting off of the couch. On those days, I would call Adam in a panic and beg him to pick up dinner. 

It wasn’t always McDonald's, but it was McDonald's A LOT! I just ran a report in QuickBooks and here’s what I found: From June 25, 2010 to June 25, 2011, we ate McDonald's 93 times and spent $1,156.96 on that nasty processed food. I.could.die!! And frankly, I’m surprised we didn’t. I can’t even fathom what the total would be if we included the other random restaurants.

Please understand that there is no judgment being passed by me if you are eating McDonald's more than you should. I get needing to survive. AND I get that we are all in different places regarding what we eat and why. This has been a big part of my family becoming healthier, so I thought I was important to share.

Since cooking at home more and making healthier food choices, we have noticed the following changes:

• I have lost approximately 20 lbs.
• My allergies are better and I’m taking less allergy meds.
• My daughter’s allergies are better and she is off all of her allergy meds.
• My son’s allergies are better and he is off all of his allergy meds.
• My son’s asthma seems to be gone and he is off of all of his asthma meds.
• All of us have been sick less often and when we do get sick, we recover quicker.

I firmly believe that when we fill our bodies with processed junk foods, our bodies have a harder time fighting the stuff we normally need to fight. So what do I do when I just can’t make dinner? I pull out some frozen Homemade Chicken nuggets or a Home Run Inn frozen pizza (no preservatives) or we have a sandwich. And if we need to pick something up, we opt for things like Chipotle. 

We still have a long way to go on our food journey, but the progress we have made in the last 12 months is mind-blowing! Happy Un-McVersary to us!

Something Uncomfortable: Day 75

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I can't garden. Why? Because I have allergies.

When my children wanted to buy a flower for me for Mother's Day, I assumed it would be a waste of money. But hey, it would make them happy. So they bought me a hydrangea plant (I have always wanted one).

It's been living in my house for 2 weeks and I have not had any allergy issues. Woohoo! Isn't it beautiful?

Happy Mother's Day

This morning, I headed to the Farmer's Market looking for scallions and cilantro. I need them so I can make salsa tomorrow. Yum!

The only cilantro I could find was growing in a pot. Well, I can't garden... OR have I just condemned myself to live a life where I believe I can't garden? I took a chance and bought three starter plants. And my step-dad was kind enough to transplant them into a larger pot.

Cilantro!

By taking a somewhat uncomfortable leap of faith, my kids and I have started a mini indoor herb garden. How fun?

What have you convinced yourself that you can't do? Are you willing to step out in faith and give it a try? 

Have you SEEN this guy? Too fun NOT to share ;)

Something Uncomfortable: Day 50

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I am NOT a quitter and I am NOT comfortable admitting defeat. Unfortunately, that's exactly what I have to do today. 

I am so exhausted that my body is shutting down. I feel like I did after I gave birth each time. All the moms know the feeling... I'm counting the minutes until nap time so that I can pass out with the kiddos. I'm guessing that getting allergy shots right after a busy garage sale weekend was a bad idea and I'm hoping that I'm not getting sick. Either way, I'm going to take a nap and I NEVER take naps.

What's the big deal? Well, I'm super behind and don't have time to nap. But since I'm moving at a snail's pace, I'm going to have to admit defeat and listen to my body. As an overachiever, I can tell you that I'm not happy with my body right now and I'm already trying to figure out how I can make up the time this week. 

Am I the only like this? Are you smart and actually listen to your body? Or are you like me and push through at all costs? I guess if I truly want to be healthier, I need to take the time to rest when I need it.

I feel like I'm repeating myself... sorry. I'll be in bed in 70 minutes. But who's counting?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 44

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We had a playdate at the park this morning. One of our friends brought her dog. I am not the biggest fan of dogs (there was an incident with a German Shepperd when I was little). This dog is truly a sweet dog, so I was in no way bothered that he was there. My daughter, on the other hand, was terrified.

My clan has it's share of allergies, so the general rule of thumb has been: don't touch the animals. If we are with them and can easily wash the kids' hands, we bend that rule. Sadly, my daughter's internal interpretation of this rule has been: Dogs are vile, terrifying beasts that must be avoided at all costs! Sigh! We have never wanted our kids to be afraid of animals, just cautious of them.

This morning, after several shrill screams, my friend suggested that my daughter come and touch the dog in order to see that he was nice. My daughter would have rather eaten pickled pigs' feet than touch the beast. 

In an instant, I realized that I needed to touch the dog. My avoiding them because of my allergies has clearly been misunderstood by my child. So I pet the dog and even let him lick my hand. Poor guy was probably thinking, "See lady, I'm not so bad." 

I wish I could tell you that my daughter rushed over and pet the dog. Instead she continued to look at me like I had lost my mind. But that's OK. It's taking me some time to work on my issues. I don't expect the three-year-old to conquer her greatest fear instantaneously. I'm guessing there will be some more dog-petting in my near future. The things we do for our babies ;)

Something Uncomforatble: Day 10

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I took my son to the allergist for a 6 month follow up regarding his asthma. Great news: He's doing so well that we are eliminating one of his meds and will recheck him in 4 weeks. Praise God!

While we were there, I asked the doctor to look at my daughter's wart that we've been treating at home for 6 weeks. The Dr said that at this point it needs to be looked at. (She's an allergist... we need to go to our pediatrician and possibly a dermatologist.) I made an appointment with the pediatrician for 1:15 this afternoon.

And so begins my uncomfortableness... OK, I'm straight up freaking out!

Let me give you some background. I had a plantar wart for 7+ years. I tried every non-invasive remedy I could. I even put duct tape on my foot for over 6 months. (Duct tape? Just Google it. It worked to a degree, but not completely.) I even had that thing frozen off at the doctor's office. I finally named it George because I assumed I would have him for life. 

Why didn't I just have George cut out? You're kidding, right? 

Last February, I had a uterine ablation. My OB/GYN rocks, so I asked her if she would cut that thing out while she was down there... because there was no way someone was coming at me with a knife unless I was under anesthesia. George died that day, but it took longer to recover from his removal than it did from the ablation.

So now I have to take my baby girl to the wart killers who will do God-knows-what to kill Henry. (We might as well name it.) While they do this, I have to watch and be brave and stay calm. Why? Because I'm the mommy and that's what the mommy does. And I don't even know if they will kill Henry today or if I will have to make an appointment with some unknown special wart killing doctor. UGH!

We will be heading there in less than 3 hours. I am going to do my best to stay out of the fetal position and trust that everything will be alright. I'll keep you posted as to what happens to Henry and what I learn from the latest episode of "Something Uncomfortable."