Life’s Lemonade Lesson #2

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Life’s Lemonade Lesson #1: Go out of your way to be thankful and never miss an opportunity to lift someone up.

Life’s Lemonade Lesson #2: Don’t let your kids get away with murder just because life is hard right now.

Life is hard. And sometimes it’s really hard.

Sometimes I think, as parents, we feel so guilty when life gets difficult that we allow our kids to behave badly and act out. I think we are actually doing them a great disservice when we let that happen.

The last three months in Schneiderland have been hard. My mom had her hip replaced in February. I injured my back at the same time. On Easter, my daughter had pinkeye which turned out to be an adenovirus. The entire family got it. It was BRUTAL. No sooner did we get over that then my husband got a bad case of bursitis in his knee that led to bleeding in his entire leg. The poor guy still has swelling and I go down with meningitis on OUR BIRTHDAY which was 3 days before Mother’s Day. Needless to say, we are meeting our insurance deductible early this year.

We spent 3 or 4 weeks helping my parents after her surgery. Life was far from normal. This was particularly difficult for my sweet babies who like and seem to need order. And there was some whining. Understandably so. We quickly learned that this was an amazing opportunity from God to teach our children a few things:

• Life is unpredictable. You have to be able to go with the flow when it becomes necessary.
• When people are hurt, you help. Why? Because being hurt or sick is hard enough, doing it alone is impossible. That’s why God wants us to live in community.
• It’s lonely when you are in pain. Being present with someone is an amazing and FREE gift we can give them to help them heal faster.

So when I spent 5 days in the hospital, my kids knew the drill. Life is not going to be normal for awhile, but it’s going to be alright… even if alright is a new normal. They have had a few moments, but some friendly reminders have quickly gotten them back on track.

Look, I’m not crazy nor am I unrealistic. We are all going to have our moments when stuff goes wrong. I even think it’s healthy to have an ugly cry or two along the way. What I don’t think is ok is to wallow in it. And I really don’t want to raise my little people to be wallowers. God is too big to waste our time wallowing. And people are too amazing to waste our time with them behaving badly.

Kids are stronger than we often give them credit for. Don’t waste opportunities to help them to grow even stronger and to help build their character.

What the...?

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If you know me at all, you should know to be thankful that I have a filter at all right now. Because all I really want to do is sit and cry and smoke and drink and curse like a *@#&ing sailor.

I hate pity parties and I refuse to participate in them for longer than 2-3 days. Just when I move past one, something else happens and I’m right back in another pity party. December 2012 has sucked and I‘m pretty much over it.

Oh my goodness, what is she rambling about NOW?

Not only do I have a golf-ball sized itchy hive on my back that will NOT GO AWAY. But I am also having a herpes outbreak for the first time in about 5 years. What the…? Well, let me tell you what the… This flipping flu virus is so brutal that my immune system just can’t handle it anymore. My strong, healthy immune system has gone on strike and now every dormant disease in my body is running around having a party. WHAT THE…?

So today, when our pediatrician asked if I wanted to give my kids -who have the flu- the flu shot, I didn’t know if I should cry or punch her. My daughter has been randomly crying all day because she has been sick for a month… no, I don’t want to put one more thing in her little body so her immune system can completely shut down. And no, I do NOT want her to get the flu again. 

SHOOT.ME.NOW! 

We didn’t get it. And won’t. And the doctor was really sweet about it. She was just trying to be helpful. I really do adore her.

I am naturally a very negative person. I have to actively work at being positive and looking on the bright side of things. I am failing miserably right now. Just ask my poor facebook friends. Shoot, most have probably blocked me at this point. I’m sure I would have. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

So what is my point in writing this post? I have no clue. I know God is big and holy and just and that I’m being a big baby. And I totally get that things could be so much worse. But right now, my world is as bad as I’d like it for awhile. And I’m really struggling not to be completely depressed while continuing to be trapped in the sick ward in Schneiderland. So maybe my point in writing this post is to say that I’m real and I’m broken right now and I’m really sorry for being so negative. And maybe if you are struggling in this season like I am, it will help to know that someone else who “gets” God is having an annoying pity party too.

Bleh.

There ARE Options…

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My son has been extremely sick with the flu or flu-like illness since Friday. My daughter finished her antibiotics for strep on Friday only to have a slight fever and 24-hour stomach bug starting yesterday afternoon. Just when that seemed to be resolving itself, she spiked a high fever and is in bed with the flu. Apparently we are sampling all of the lovelies being passed around school. Awesome. Have I mentioned how much I loathe the numerous springs we have had this fall? BRING ON THE FREEZE ALREADY!!!!

Fevers freak me out. Especially ones that make my babies cry in pain. We are only at the beginning of what I’m guessing will be 48-72 hours of fever for my baby girl. (That’s how long it took for my son.)

Add to my freak-out the fact that it’s holiday party week at school… and I’m in charge of one party and have the party favors for the other one at my house. Hello OCD nightmare.

Of course, as I’m freaking out, I’m also beating myself of with guilt because at least we don’t live in Connecticut… my babies may be super-sick, but they are super-here. So I am desperately trying not to be desperate. I AM a problem-solver.  Now let’s solve the problem.

The solution: both kids are staying home tomorrow no matter what. No one wants us to give them this for Christmas. I’ve emailed the other room mom in my daughter’s class to see how I can get the goods to her. And on Wednesday, Pa will watch whichever sickies are quarantined to our house. Adam, my mom and I will go to my son’s school and throw a spectacular Holiday Party for his class. And if my son can’t be there, we will have another spectacular Holiday party at my house when we get home. Problems solved.

I’m telling you this to remind you that there ARE options. Even when things look bleak and aren’t turning out the way you planned, there are ways to make it work. Good thing I’ve been practicing being uncomfortable this year… now to work on not being so whiny ;)