I Almost Died 14 Years Ago

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

But before we get to that... six years earlier I was raped (shortly after I graduated from high school in 1992).

Obviously, rape never ends well. Girls typically do one of 2 things: they either never want to have sex again or they attempt to sleep with as many people as possible in an effort to “prove” they are not broken. Unfortunately, I chose the latter of the two options. I thought I was being tough about it, but deep down I knew I was a lonely girl who was so desperate to find someone to love her. 

I slept with a lot of men over the next several years and often drank and drugged my way into oblivion. The odds were obviously not in my favor. First I learned I had herpes, then I learned I had HPV. Did I get the STDs that are easily cured? Of course not! I got 2 of the ones that are incurable and that can kill you.

That's right, AIDS is NOT the only STD that can kill you! And these days, if you are having sex, you don’t have much of a chance of not catching something.

How do you get herpes? The CDC states, “HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.”

So you say, “Well I use condoms so I’m safe.” Not according to the CDC, “Genital ulcer diseases can occur in both male and female genital areas that are covered or protected by a latex condom, as well as in areas that are not covered. Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes.” Did you catch that? You can get herpes EVEN IF YOU USE A CONDOM!!!! Condoms reduce your risk – they don’t eliminate it! In other words, there is NO SUCH THING as "safe" sex. It would do the general population a bit of good if we started to call it "safer" sex.

Have you heard of HSV Spinal Meningitis? In 1998, most doctors hadn’t either. It’s Herpes Simplex Spinal Meningitis, and it is what almost killed me. That’s right, herpes, you know, the disease you can still get if you use a condom? The herpes virus can go into the lining of your brain and spinal fluid resulting in spinal meningitis. Meningitis is painful and scary. Worse yet, the antiviral meds they give you through an IV are painful. So much so that I had to have strong pain killers administered an hour before they could give me the drug.

I'm sharing this with you for a few reasons:

1. Most people I talk to don't know the truth about the risks you take when you have sex. When you make the decision to have sex, make an informed one. And value yourself enough not to take risks on relationships that aren't going anywhere. 
2. I implore you to look beyond this moment when you make major decisions like having sex with someone. I had no idea that my attempt to prove I was NOT broken would result in:
• STDs that could kill me
• Being denied for health insurance because of said STDs
• Potentially bringing harm to my children during the delivery process (Praise God that that did not happen!)
• Emotional damage that still affects me today (less today because of years of counseling and spiritual healing.)
3. If you have an STD, or some other "ugly" in your past, forgive yourself. God has healed my pain and removed my shame. And I have learned how to forgive myself for the plethora of bad choices I have made. It is because of this that I can tell you that I have Herpes almost as easily as I can tell you that I have brown hair.
4. If you have been raped or have experienced sexual assault in any form, SEEK HELP! Contact your local Rape Crisis Center. If you don't know how to do that, message me and I will point you in the right direction.

I almost died 14 years ago... please don't make the same bad choices that I did. 

Please feel free to share my story with anyone who might benefit from it... especially young people.