A Big Win

Join the Something Uncomfortable movement on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

It’s amazing how talking about something can diffuse it. Don’t you think?

Since talking with my friend and sharing with you the other day, I seem to be moving in a much better direction. Life is far from perfect, but my reaction to it seems to be a bit better.

I told you that I would share as I go through this battle, so I wanted to take a moment to tell you about a big win…

Because of Lincoln’s birthday, my kids were off of school for the past 5 days. Since our Christmas break was high jacked by the flu, I wanted to make sure I really engaged with the kids each of those five days. And I did. We had at least one adventure each day including Chuck E Cheese’s, ice cream, breakfast at our favorite café, baking cookies and a long excursion at Scheels. I even said yes to playdough… 3 days in a row! It’s been glorious!

Over the course of those 5 days, subtle and not-so-subtle attacks came. And on a few occasions, I wanted to throw in the towel. But I didn’t. Instead, I’ve been crying out to Jesus and sending quick texts back and forth to my sweet friend. And I’ve been focusing on the I-got-it-dones rather than the I’ve-got-to-get-that-dones. Whatever. It’s my blog. I can make up words if I want to. ;)

Bottom line… I feel hopeful. And that’s a great thing to feel when you are battling against the one who is trying to steal it from you.

Are you feeling hopeful? Or has your hope been stolen from you?

That Thing

Join the Something Uncomfortable movement on Facebook:

 http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

You know that thing. The one that’s been bothering you for as long as you remember. You’ve dealt with it as much as you can: therapy, prayer, forgiveness, etc. And for 90% of your functioning life, you don’t even think about it.

But then something happens to bring it up and there it is staring you in the face… that thing.

Your feelings become raw again and you just want them to go away. You don’t want to talk to the people involved because it will just make them feel bad. No one can change the situation anyway. Frankly, you are over it intellectually, so why would you hurt them by talking about it? But there you are in your sad little puddle of emotion facing that thing again. UGH!

Why? Seriously, why are we wired this way? I know, I know… the fall… we are human… blah, blah, blah. I get it. I just wish when it came to that thing I could put my emotional big girl panties on and get over it. I want to move on. I want my heart to catch up with my brain already. Grrrrr!!!!!

I want to be free. I want to do whatever something uncomfortable nonsense I need to do to make it go away.

Am I alone here? Or do you struggle with that thing too?

I Hate Hormones, Yes I Do, I Hate Hormones How About You?

Join the Something Uncomfortable movement on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

Seriously. Hormones stink. And no matter how you look at it, we women have to deal with them our ENTIRE lives. Forget the silly election; let’s talk about something that really matters…

As you know by now, I have had the great privilege of starting peri-menopause WAY TOO EARLY. Synthetic hormones turn me into a lunatic. And I’m a big proponent of working to find and treat the problem rather than mask the symptoms.

I’ve had great success with homeopathic hormone therapy for some time. But I started to notice some changes about six months ago: heavier spotting (I had an ablation before I knew better), increased breast tenderness, the glorious return of the hot flash and severe mood crashes that would likely be classified as clinical depression. Just.so.awesome.

So I redid a saliva hormone panel only to find out my hormone levels were doing well with the aid of the progesterone cream. Yay! But then what is the problem?

Then I did an adrenal test to see if the hormones weren’t being processed in my body correctly. I found out today that that looks normal. Yay! But then what is the problem? Wait, did I just say that?

So now what?

Beaux at the Medicine Shoppe had me start taking fiber every day to help with the fibrocystic breast issue. Strange, but it seems to be working. I might just be having a good month, so we will know more over time.

Today, I told Beaux that sudden mood swings have been WAY more intense lately. Frankly, they’ve been scary. Not suicidal scary, but scary enough that this has to be our top priority. The Sepia still helps, but we both agreed that I should try to take the Sepia preventatively rather than as a reaction to the sudden dives. And he is going to do some more research to see if there is something else we can do.

You might be thinking, “Why don’t you get on antidepressants?” Well, to begin with, medication and I don’t typically mix well. I’d like to try to remove as many chemicals from my body as possible, not add to them. I’m allergic to, well, almost everything. And the thought of going through the trial and error phase doesn’t thrill me.

Second, there is a definite pattern with the lows. They don’t happen at the same each month. But when they do happen, it’s during one of the three hormonal shifts I have in my cycle. Again, I’d like to figure out how to deal with the problem rather than the solution.

Let me stress a very important point: I AM NOT AGAINST ANTIDEPRESSANTS. I’m not concerned about the social ramifications that might come with them. And I know that they have saved countless lives. However for me, they are my last resort rather than my first choice.

This is why I’m taking the time to write to you today: You are NOT ALONE and you are NOT CRAZY! Hormones suck. Sorry, but they do. And just when you think you have it figured out, something changes and you are back to square one.

I implore you NOT TO GIVE UP! If you do some testing and they find nothing, don’t be discouraged. If you are experiencing symptoms, then they are real. You just haven’t identified the cause… yet.

And please, DON’T DO THIS ALONE. Talk to someone. Shoot, talk to me. I’ll listen. And this is somewhat anonymous – for you anyway, right?

Stupid apple… stupid serpent… stupid girl… Who am I fooling? I probably would have eaten it too. Bleh.