Something Uncomfortable: Day 63

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

Yesterday, I noticed that I was a little off, but chalked it up to being tired. This morning I realized that had been a big mistake. 

By 7:00, I knew I was grumpy. By 7:30, I was having a full-blown panic attack... over nothing. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest and, at the same time, like my chest was going to explode outward. I knew I needed to take Sepia.

I usually don't have anxiety and the grumpies at the same time. It was a strange feeling that resulted in a conversation in my head that went something like this:

Grumpies: I need Sepia NOW!

Anxiety: You can't take it NOW. You have to wait an hour after you brush your teeth to take it and you can't eat for an hour after you take it.

Grumpies: It's been almost an hour since you brushed your teeth. GET THE BOTTLE!

Anxiety: But you have to eat breakfast and we have to leave for school in an hour. IT WON'T WORK!

Grumpies: Is this a real rule? Did you just make this up? Did Dave really tell you about this one hour thing? Besides, if you don't do something, your chest will likely explode... killing you. Are we going to risk death and follow the unconfirmed rule? Or are you going to GET THE BOTTLE ALREADY?

I know this might all sound a little strange, but mental health issues never sound "normal" right? 

I have been questioning the validity of the hour before and after rule since I started taking Sepia almost a year ago. Why haven't I called to ask if it's real? Read some more of my posts and you'll figure out the answer to that one. 

Did I call today? I mean, that would be uncomfortable and I'm supposed to be doing uncomfortable things right? True, but heck no I didn't call today! There will be NO phone calls today. I know my limitations. Making a phone call on a day when I'm having a perfect storm of chemical imbalance would not be a healthy choice for me.

So what did I do? I broke the rules. I took the Sepia at 7:40 and then ate breakfast. It took a while, but within an hour or so, I started to feel better. Breaking the rules, whether they are real or perceived, is SO UNCOMFORTABLE for me. Before I started this uncomfortable journey, I don't know that I could have done it. And I probably would have ended up on the couch... not functioning.

I know that mental health issues do not affect everyone. So for those who don't suffer from OCD or Depression or Anxiety or ADHD or some other bit of mental yuck, let me just tell you that it is not fun. There is nothing worse than feeling out of control - mentally.

I am so thankful that I have found some natural tools to help fight the imbalances I experience. (I don't react well to most medications - shocking, I know.) And I'm thankful that I have enough strong moments to work on my daily mental health, so I can function better in times of crisis.

Do you suffer from mental health issues too? What have you found that helps? Do you feel like you are really working on the problem or just masking the symptoms?