There ARE Good Men Out There

Yesterday I was told about a young girl who has thrown herself into an unhealthy relationship with a young man. It breaks my heart when I hear stories like this, because I was one of those girls. I was a broken, lonely girl who was desperate to feel loved so I allowed myself to go from one abusive relationship to another. I hid my pain by putting on a tough and sarcastic front.

When I was in high school, I dated a boy for 19 months. Once the honeymoon was over, he slowly began to abuse me emotionally and verbally. 

By the time I was "in love with him," he started the pattern of calling me fat, stupid and ugly on a regular basis. Let me assure you, I was NONE of those things. I was a practicing anorexic and was NOT fat. I got a 29 on my ACT while I was hung-over (I am not encouraging or advocating underage drinking - it a REALLY BAD CHOICE). Clearly I was not stupid. And although I was never featured on the cover of a magazine... I was not ugly.

The constant belittlement led to my low self esteem, suicidal thoughts and depression. He beat me down emotionally so much that I even agreed to have sex with him in order to prove how much I loved him. Sick.

I wish I started choosing better relationships after that one ended. Unfortunately, it was the first of many.

Then I met my husband. He is so amazing and I could spend hours telling you why. Let me give you a couple of highlights:

• When I shared my past with Adam, I assumed he would break up with me. Instead, he started weeping, held me close and said he was felt bad I had gone through it alone.
• He has told me that I am beautiful EVERY DAY of our relationship... even on my ugliest of days.
• He is an amazing father who works hard to provide for his family and who engages with his children daily. He changed diapers and takes the kids to the potty when we are out... so that I can have a break.
• He loves the Lord and lives out his faith daily.

He is incredible.

You might be thinking, "Well, Heather, you got the last good one." Let me assure you that that is A LIE!!! There are plenty of good men out there. And there are plenty of men who have the potential to be amazing if we would hold them to a higher standard.

So if you are in a bad relationship... I beg you to get out. Being alone is hard, but it's better then being abused. 

If you are single... don't settle for anything less then what I found. Trust me, I probably deserved happiness less than you, and I still found it. 

If you are a man... be a MAN. Treat the woman you are with like a princess and she will treat you like a king.

If you are a parent... teach your daughters to love themselves, so they don't look for boys to love them. And teach your boys to be the kind of men that deserve a princess.

I get that it's not easy, but maybe, just maybe things would be better if we held ourselves and each other to a higher standard.

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