How My Search For Overall Health Began

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

I was in my early 20s and I was a mess. I was caught up in an unhealthy lifestyle full of bad choices. I was going nowhere fast. It always seemed like life wasn’t supposed to be without heartache and stress. It certainly didn’t seem like things were ever going to get any better. I was hanging around the wrong people, working in a negative environment, dating yet another “project” man who needed me to fix his life, doing destructive things that always led up to illnesses, and living a lifestyle that continually set me up for failure. I had very little hope.

I never ruled out the possibility of God’s existence, I simply didn’t have time to deal with the likelihood of it at that point in my life. I claimed to be agnostic, and knew that someday I would research the various religious options and would then make an educated decision based upon my discoveries.

When my parents became Christians in the mid 90s, I figured they had gotten caught up in some crazy new adventure or cult. I didn’t want to have anything to do with it, and frankly, didn’t want to hear about. Thankfully, they talked about God and Jesus anyway. I didn’t realize it at the time, but they were planting the seeds I needed in order to see the truth.

In January of 1998, I was at a convention with my parents and with my current “project” boyfriend. These particular conventions always close on Sunday morning with a worship service. Begrudgingly, I attended this particular service and had the opportunity to hear Franklin Graham speak. It was as if he was speaking directly to me. He talked about being Billy Graham’s son and going to church simply because it was expected of him. It wasn’t until he was in his twenties that he really came to know Christ and made the conscious decision to accept Jesus as his Savior. He talked about getting all of the bad influences out of his life and then challenged us to do the same. It was as if he was speaking only to me in this crowd of thousands. He was telling me to make the changes I needed to and to finally admit that I already knew the truth. I left knowing what I wanted, but was still too afraid to make all of the changes I needed to.

In April of 1998, I was diagnosed with having spinal meningitis and spent several days in the hospital. While I was there, only 4 people came to visit me: my mom, my step-dad, my sister, and my parents’ pastor. I realized that I couldn’t deny the truth anymore: I was surrounding myself with people who didn’t really care about me, if they had they would have supported me though what was the scariest illness I had ever had. When I got home from the hospital I cut off all ties with the “bad” people in my life. Although it began as a lonely journey, I knew I could never go back.

One month later, in May, I finally agreed to read a book that my parents had been encouraging me to read, Left Behind, by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye. When one of the characters got on his knees and prayed a “sinner’s prayer,” I found myself weeping and praying that same prayer over and over. My life has never been the same since.

Since becoming a Christian, my life has been filled with a countless array of blessings. I am surrounded by an enormous support group of friends and family who love me unconditionally.  My self-esteem is at a level that I never thought possible. I have an overwhelming sense of peace, security and happiness.  The Lord has also blessed me with two beautiful children and a husband who is not only the love of my life, but my best friend and someone with whom I can walk with spiritually. My life will never be hopeless again.

I have made it my goal to do whatever is in my power to help others to know the joy I have. That’s why I’m blogging about my experiences. If even one person can find hope through my story, then what I have lived through has not been in vain. My story is filled with drug and alcohol use, rape, abortion, promiscuity, STDs, mental illness AND hope, joy, and love. I’ve practically done it all… so there is NO judgment here. I hope you join me on my journey to better health: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.