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After 20 years, I have come to the
conclusion that all of the players in this nightmare handled the situation in
the only way they knew how. Our parents and each one of us girls did the best
we could with the cards life dealt us. I don’t know how I would have reacted if
I had been in any of their positions. What I do know is that I can honestly say
that in this moment, I have no animosity towards any of them.
The
Confrontation
I found Tina and her mom in Pete’s ER room.
When I started to demand that he be held accountable for what he did, it quickly
became obvious that Pete was way more dangerous than I had guessed.
In spite of the fact that he had raped Tina
multiple times, she went along with his lies about him not raping me. As they continued
to deny what happened, I became more enraged. Honestly, I became belligerent. I
yelled and screamed and swore that I would get justice.
Tina became upset. With that, her mother
looked at me and told me she wanted me to leave. Why? Because I was clearly
lying and she wanted me to stop upsetting her daughter. For real?
I was devastated at the time. Tina’s mom’s
words were the start of the battle that I’ve been fighting for the past twenty
years. I lost part of myself in that moment and continued to for years.
But
time has given me the ability to conclude the following:
- Tina was being terrorized. What happened to me is nothing compared to what happened to her. I don’t blame her for trying to keep Pete calm.
- Tina’s mom was trying to protect her baby. As a mom, I get that. But as a former youth pastor, I will say this… even the best kids lie to their parents. When accusations start flying, love your kids enough to check out their stories.
The
Threats Began
It seemed that as each day passed, we
learned more and more about how dangerous Pete really was. He phoned me and
Ashley and told us that he had people watching us. If I pressed charges, I
would be risking my own safety and the safety of my family and Ashley and her
family. Apparently, he had ties to a local gang. Sure enough, we had people
sitting outside our homes throughout the summer.
My mom worked for some attorneys. They
agreed with what I was told at the ER. Because I had been drinking, it would be
nearly impossible to prove that I had been raped. The defense lawyers would rip
me apart and there would be little chance of a conviction. This information
coupled with the continuous threats, led my mom and I to the conclusion that I
should not press charges.
I went from the girl who screamed rape in
the middle of the street and who confronted her attacker in her hospital gown,
to a girl who was so scared that she hid just to stay alive.
To make matters worse, Pete told everyone
in town that I was a lying whore who was crying rape to make herself look
better. He ruined me. I could no longer go out. And after one attempt during
the first semester of college, I knew I could never go back.
Previous Installments:
Installment #2Installment #3
Installment #4
Installment #5
Installment #6
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