Something Uncomfortable: Day 170

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I put milk in my son's super-cool Lightening McQueen thermos this morning. I asked him if he had any problems opening this one. All of sudden, he burst into tears and said he was embarrassed to drink out of the thermos. All of the other kids have milk cartons and he doesn't want them to think he has water. What?!?!?!

When I pick him up from school everyday, he begs for his water. He's super thirsty and can't wait until we get home to have a drink. I've been trying to find out why he's not drinking anything at lunch. I've even sent juice boxes that come home unopened. It took NINE days for him to tell me what is going on! Oh.my.goodness!!!!

We don't get milk from school because it's not organic. Call me a tree hugging freak, but the regular milk has hormones in it that don't need to be in my kids. We haven't purchased the organic milk boxes because they are insanely expensive. Instead, we have milk at breakfast, after school snack and dinner. 

Guess what my daughter and I hunted down today? Seriously, we went to the hippie store... no organic milk boxes. (Yes, I know there is some controversy over the warm milk. But it's got to be better than the hormone milk, right?) Meijer... $8.99 for 6 milks - Are you kidding me? Target... $3.29 for 3 milks. Walmart... nothing. Schnucks... nothing. And the shipping online ruins any savings I might find for buying in bulk. UGH!

I need to talk to him about it some more tonight. I'm just beside myself about what to do for my socially anxious baby boy. First it was the need to be in the front of the line before school. Then it was the embarrassment over having Kleenex in his back pocket by his bottom. Now it's the fear that people will think he's drinking water. AND he didn't tell me any of this, I have had to jump to conclusions to find out! 

I wanted to call in sick this morning because the sore throat that I've had for a week is getting worse. Who knew that would be the least of my worries today? If it weren't for the fact that I have to take my kids to soccer practice and then go to the Open House at school, I would totally collapse on the floor and have a good ugly cry. But I don't want to re-do my make-up. I've wasted enough time today.

Does anyone else have a socially anxious child who excels in school? What do you do with that?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 167

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On the first 2 days of kindergarten, I noticed that my son was particularly anxious about lining up before the bell rang. I realized that he liked being in the front of the line. He is so much like his Mom. I assumed that being at the front of the line gives him a sense of security in such an uncertain new place. He confirmed that I was right when I asked him about it after school last Tuesday. We agreed to get to school early enough for him to be first in line. As the week progressed, he became more comfortable and played a little before the bell rang. However, each morning he shot to the front of the line like a sprinter in the Olympics after the guy shoots the gun.

Last week, I also noticed that he seemed uncomfortable hugging me before he went in. I asked if he hugged his teacher like some of the other kids do. He said, “No!” He only likes to hug his family. Again, he is a smaller boy version of me. It’s so crazy to watch. Anyway, I asked him this morning if he liked when I hugged him at school. He told me he did not… break.my.heart! I knew it would happen someday, but in kindergarten? Gulp! Sniff, sniff! I agreed to hug him at the car and A LOT at home.

We got him to the front of the line and I noticed his nose was running. I told him to use his tissue. He refused. Um, excuse me? I had to threaten to dig one out of his pocket and wipe it for him if he didn’t do it himself. I’m not sure what the issue with the tissue was, but let me assure you that snot running from his nose into his mouth was far more embarrassing than wiping it with a tissue. So we are going to have to have a talk about that one when I get him.

I made him uncomfortable about the tissue situation and then couldn’t hug him before he went inside. Let me assure you that the first day of the second week of kindergarten has been much harder for me than the first five days. And I don’t get to pick him up for another 3½ hours. I’m not just uncomfortable, I’m borderline hysterical. Why? Let me give you a glimpse into my head:

• Did someone make fun of him because he needed a tissue? I pity the child that bullies my kid.
• I can’t believe he’s already in school. Did I do enough? Did I engage with him enough? I NEVER expected to love my kids this much. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME!
• I NEED to make the most of EVERY moment that the kids are at home. How can I possibly take care of our daily needs AND do the bookwork for our business AND have special time with my daughter AND exercise regularly AND maintain a blog all while he is at school so I can really be present when he is at home?
• I’m depressed and want to curl up into a ball and cry but I can’t because there is too much to do. God, help me please!!!

So I’m reminded of the devotion that TWO of my dear friends called me to make me last week read from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

"Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one—as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from sonworship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father’s undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.

When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do." - http://bit.ly/eF5kSq 

Amazing, right? Seriously makes you think, doesn’t it? The whole Abraham/Issac thing has always freaked me out and I’ve always been thankful that I wasn’t Abraham. I NEVER thought about it being the result of “the father’s undisciplined emotions.” So I’m working on trusting my baby to God because he’s really God’s baby anyway. And I’m learning to listen to what my kids are NOT saying. 

Do you really listen to what the people you love are NOT saying?

Wait, What Did She Say?

We went to kindergarten orientation last night. It was great to see our son's room and get a feel for what he will be learning this year.

When talking about the photocopied "books" that will be sent home for practice, the teacher said, "if you don't have books at home." Wait, what did she say? I mean, I know there are kids who don't have books, but I never really thought about the fact that there are kids THAT DON'T OWN BOOKS! It just breaks my heart.

So now, of course, I feel compelled to do something about it. Here's what I'm thinking:

I signed up to bring party favors to the Halloween party. Instead of wasting money on making something cute from Pinterest, I'm going to find a way to get real books into the hands of my son's classmates. Who am I fooling? I'm sure I'll include something crafty too, but these kids are going to get a book.

And I'm thinking my kids are going to use some of their profits from selling pumpkin muffins at our garage sale to buy books for Christmas.

I swear I'm learning as much if not more than my kid that's in school.

As Bigweld from the movie "Robots" says, "See a need, fill a need!" That's exactly what we are going to do.

Are you going to join us?

**How to make it happen: We probably spend at least $1 per kid when we put together a party favor for a school party... right? Well, you can buy $1 books through Scholastic Books. If you order online and enter your classroom code, your teacher will be able to get a book for the classroom FOR FREE. So for what you are already spending, you will get a book into the hands of each child and a book in the classroom. How awesome is this?

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Something Uncomfortable: Day 161

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I have been doing Something Uncomfortable for almost six months. Yesterday was the first day of kindergarten. Coincidence? Probably not. I'm sure this process has been a preparation for things just like this.

Yesterday, my son was so excited about school that he woke up at 5:00am. Fortunately, he fell back to sleep for a little bit before we actually had to be up. We packed lunch, took pictures and remained fairly excited until we got to school. The bell rang for the kids to line up. My son started to choke back the tears. I thought I would die. We watched him go inside and then I waited 5½ hours to get him back.

He did really well. Initially he said he did not want to go back on Tuesday… maybe later in the week. But by the end of the night, he was ready and excited.

This morning, I’m finding that I’m more nervous than I was yesterday. I’m not sure why. His teacher seems great. She even emailed a daily update to us right after school. I guess I’m just not ready for my baby to be in school. In this moment, I think it would be totally alright if he grew up to be one of those socially awkward men who only want to hang out with their moms. But I’m sure I’ll come to my senses… someday.

OK parents, it’s time for feedback… How did/do you survive being the parent suffering from separation anxiety?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 157

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Hamm is one of my former youth group kids who has become a part of our family. She’s like one of our kids. And even though she’s 23, our kids think she is one of their peers. We love our Hamm! (Her real name is Margaret… it’s a long story.)

Hamm asked me to go on some of the big rides with her at the fair today. Adam was with us and was willing to manage the kids, so I agreed.

When I was a kid, I LOVED rides. Roller coasters, spinning rides, water rides, whatever I could find, I rode. My back and neck issues have slowed me down over the past several years. And my increasing fear of heights and vertigo have made me eliminate them altogether. So this seemed like an appropriate Something Uncomfortable for the day.

Guess which ride she chose? This thing:

It’s called the “Freak Out.” I now know why.

I did fairly well while it was spinning near the ground in the beginning. But when the swaying started, things went south quickly. Because that wasn’t bad enough, it then started spinning again… as it swayed… almost to the point of being upside down. I prayed to Jesus a lot… and out loud. And apparently I was very entertaining. Pretty sure I made the carnie’s day. But I’m cool with that. I would have laughed at me too.

Ready for the really awesome part? I thought I was going to throw up for a solid three hours after we landed. And I still have a slight headache. OH.MY.GOODNESS!!!!!!!!

So I’ve learned a few things from the Freak Out:

1. I have a hard time distinguishing between something that is appropriately uncomfortable and something that is just a bad idea.
2. I clearly CANNOT ride rides anymore.
3. They name rides appropriately… consider them a warning.

In spite of the awfulness that I experienced today, I am really glad I did it. It’s that better we found this out now than at Six Flags when we are far away from home. And I now know that there is a reason why my gut has been telling me that my body is done with the big rides. But hey, Wiggle Worm, I’m heading your way tomorrow… or maybe I’ll stick to the train.

Would you have ridden it?

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

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While waiting to get into the fair yesterday, I overheard a conversation that went something like this:

Mom: Can you just say that you are four?

Little Girl: But Mommy, I'm five.

Mom (sternly & irritated): For the next few minutes you're 4. Just say you are 4!

Wonder why your kids lie to you? She saved $3 and taught her daughter the invaluable lesson that it's OK to lie when it's convenient and when you'll benefit from it. It's just so sad.

As I’ve shared before, I spent a good portion of my life lying. It always got me into trouble. Half the time I couldn’t keep my story straight. It truly was a big mess. And I did it all to protect myself from the consequences of the choices I made. In my late twenties, I made the conscious decision NOT to lie anymore. This doesn’t mean that I tell everyone everything. Sometimes it’s none of their business, sometimes it’s not age appropriate, and sometimes they just won’t benefit from knowing. No matter what the case is, there is really no good reason to lie.

What about if someone asks if her pants make her look fat? I hate that question. People shouldn’t ask it if they don’t want the truth (myself included). I typically try to answer as kindly as possible… they are not the most flattering pants you own. Seriously… we need to stop asking that question!

What about Santa? As I’ve shared before, we don’t do Santa at our house. We talk about the real St. Nicolas and his ministry, but Santa doesn’t visit our house. Is Santa fun? Sure. Except the whole you won’t get presents if your naughty thing… but that’s another soapbox that I don’t need to climb on right now. The bottom line is that I can’t justify lying to my kids and then getting mad at them if they lie to me. They know Mommy & Daddy put the money under their pillows and take their teeth and they think it’s pretty cool that we are sneaky enough to do it without waking them up.

Even if you think I’m crazy to not lie to my kids about Santa, I'm sure you can admit that you don’t like when people lie to you. No one does. I’ve never heard someone say they would elect someone to office because he’s such a great liar. I can’t remember anyone saying they thought their spouse was super clever in their attempt to cover his/her affair. If it’s not alright to lie about everything, why is it alright to lie about some things? And who gets to decide what lies are white lies verses big nasty lies? I’m here to tell you that the little girl at the fair was horrified that her mom was making her lie and I can guarantee that she’s not going to understand the difference when her mother yells at her for lying about something at home.

I make plenty of mistakes every day. I clearly don’t walk on water, nor do to I profess to. This is just something that I’ve been convicted about for a long time. Trust me, there have been plenty of situations that I’ve wanted to lie about, but I’ve chosen not to. And sometimes the consequences have been brutal. But as a parent, I know I can look at my kids and honestly tell them that I won’t lie to them and I expect the same in return.

OK, that’s my soapbox for today. Now I’m off to work on one of my many character flaws by doing Something Uncomfortable.

Something Uncomfortable: Day 154

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I’m still freaking out about this whole asthma/allergy situation at my son’s school. He starts kindergarten in 6 days and I’m having a hard time getting info from the nurse/school about what forms we actually need.

Today I realized that no matter what, I just have to trust that it will be OK. I’m taking him to the allergist tomorrow. I’ve printed off every allergy/asthma form I can find on the district’s website. I’m just going to have to trust that we have all we need and if we don’t… then I’ll get it taken care of on the first day of school.

I push the lock button on my car two times, every time I get out of it. Not being overly prepared for dropping my babies off to strangers is obviously uncomfortable for me. And I’m not so good at trusting. I guess this is good practice. Bleh!

When is the last time you trusted someone?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 153

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We went to Conservation World at the State Fair today. The kids got to go on a scavenger hunt throughout CW. After they completed the hunt, they received a bag full of Smokey the Bear goodies. Fun, right? Except for the part about letting my five-year-old shoot a bb gun. Yes, there was an instructor who closely supervised the whole thing. But still.

I’m sure it’s shocking to think that allowing my child to touch a gun would make me uncomfortable. Let me assure you, it most certainly did. But I let him anyway. After all, I had to have something to write about…

Look what this child did:

It was his first time touching a gun, much less firing one. Do you see the dead-on bullseye? And the nice cluster of shots? For the record he only took five shots. Who is this kid?

I was so proud… of both of us! The really funny thing was that he took forever to take each shot. I was totally getting impatient. Then I saw the target. I guess we all know why he was taking so long.

Have you taken a leap of faith lately?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 150

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My children were so disappointed that they didn’t get to meet Melody Miller when I was on her show a few weeks ago. They heard that WIBI was going to be at the state fair and wanted me to message Melody to find out when she would be there. That’s exactly what I did late yesterday afternoon.

Somehow we ended up talking about how the Schneiders are fair rats… we go at least 5 times each year. Melody was shocked, as am I. I NEVER thought I would be one of “those” people. My sister and I went to the fair as teenagers to ride the rides and look for boys, but we outgrew that. And then I had babies and my perspective on the fair changed completely. They love it and look forward to it every year.

Melody told me to call into the show this morning to talk about being a fair rat. I assumed she was kidding. She asked what would make me think she was kidding? My fear of the phone of course! At any rate, I agreed to do it. And because Melody is super-cool, she asked to interview my kids too. Of course they agreed and singsonged “We’re gonna be on the radio” the rest of the day.

So guess what my uncomfortable was at 7:20 this morning? It went so well! The kids actually answered her questions and I think I only said “absolutely” twice. (I realized after the last show that I say “absolutely” like normal people say “Um.”) Now the kids feel like rock stars! So glad I was uncomfortable!

On a side note… I asked my daughter what her favorite part of the parade was last night. She told me that she loved the bumper girls. And that one day she wants to be the bumper girl in the black shirt with the brown hair in piggy tails. Why? So she can bump the other girls. Of course! What is a bumper girl? Is it the fair queen or a cheerleader or a gymnast? Nope. It’s a roller derby chick. I love my daughter!

What is something you swore you would NEVER do, and now you do it?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 149

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If you have been with me from the beginning of this journey, you know about Henry, my 3-year-old daughter’s wart. You also know that her pediatrician originally said to leave it alone and it would likely go away… eventually. Well, Henry got married and had a baby.

A couple of months ago, Wendy showed up on my daughter’s other hand. After using over-the-counter meds and duct tape, my daughter had sores around Wendy and a baby wart, AYKM (Are You Kidding Me?). We haven’t done anything in approximately 4 weeks and Henry, Wendy and little AYKM, are growing out of control.

My husband has been telling me to have it looked at and so have the handful of people that have looked at our growing family. But I haven’t wanted to because I knew these 3 unwanted visitors would be sentenced to a painful death… painful for my baby girl.

Today, I caved and took her to the pediatrician. Sure enough, Henry, Wendy & AYKM received the death penalty. The doctor said we had 2 options: she could freeze them off in her office or we could go to the dermatologist where they might have some other topical solutions to try first. I voted for the dermatologist. My doctor thanked me because little people tend to hate her after she does it. Awesome.

I am now waiting to hear back as to when our appointment is. My husband will have to come with us because I will probably pass out, vomit or cry when they kill the intruders. Or I could do all three. And we will probably have to buy my daughter a pony after the ordeal, but whatever. I guess this is better than condemning my child to being known as the warty girl. UGH!

I have no question for you today that seems relevant… but I will ask you to please pray that Henry, Wendy & AYKM die painlessly and quickly. Thanks!