Something Uncomfortable: Day 140

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

UGLY!!!! That’s how I would describe my morning… UGLY.

Within 15 minutes of waking up this morning, I had a panic attack. Anxiety Drops didn’t help. Of course, my daughter decided to be grumpy on the same day that I was grumpy. And I had unexpected issues I had to deal with.

I knew I needed Sepia. I ate breakfast and then set the timer for an hour so I could take the Sepia. (You can’t eat an hour before and an hour after taking it.) 30 minutes after I set the timer, I realized I was chewing gum… Are.you.kidding.me? I reset the timer and prayed that I wouldn’t explode while I waited.

As I waited, I realized I need to get over myself. Yes, my hormones are out of whack. Yes, my anxiety and depression levels are higher than normal. Yes, I’m struggling right now. But in less than 3 weeks my son is going to start kindergarten and my daughter will be starting preschool 2 weeks after that. I simply don’t have the luxury of shutting down right now. I want to savor every moment I have with them, making memories and loving each other. I won’t EVER get this time back. And I refuse to let my nonsense (although very legitimate) screw it up.

So I’m functioning. And we had a wonderful adventure this morning. And I’m going to work my tail off this week to get my bookwork done when it’s inconvenient so I can hang out with my babies as much as possible. I am going to win!

Are you letting the UGLY win today? Or are you winning?