Something Uncomfortable: Day 188

Join the Something Uncomfortable movement on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

When reflecting on the past two weeks, I find myself in awe and disbelief. Wow! I mean really… wow! I have been bombarded with so much ugliness that I find myself having a hard time trusting anyone. People really stink sometimes.

While dealing with my poor son’s social anxiety as he adjusts to kindergarten, I was bullied by two unbelievable women at my garage sale. And ALL of the eyewitnesses failed to stand up for me. Instead they listened to the bullies and left with them.

Two days later, we learned that our senior pastor was stepping down from his position at our church. We have been processing the hurt and disappointment that has come from that situation.

Two days after that, it was September 11. Yet another reminder of how broken this world is and how horrible people can be.

Because my heart wasn’t broken enough, some fool decided to verbally vomit an ignorant comment on one of the blog posts regarding the story surrounding my rape. It was just another reminder of how people excuse bad behavior and fail to stand up for victims. Whatever.

To be blunt, people suck. And I’m sick of it. I’m really sick of people being apathetic. I’m sick of people NOT caring. And I’m sick of people thinking it’s alright to be mean. I’m sick of people sucking.

For two weeks, my prayers have been so overwhelming and constant that I feel like my body is physically groaning out to God. Not just for myself… but for the people that suck. And for the people that keep getting hurt by these people. Ironically, I don’t even wish bad things on the mean people. I just want them to be restored into people that aren’t mean.

I’m totally NOT a peace & love hippie person… although I’d like to be. But right now, I’d love to be surrounded with unicorns that poop rainbows. OK, that would be annoying, but you get the point.

All I can do is pray and trust that God knows what He’s doing. I don’t believe that all of this nonsense is part of His plan. His plan was for us to live in the Garden of Eden with the unicorns. But sin messed that up. I DO believe that He has a plan of how to help us out of the mess. However, His rescue plan will only work if we put our own agendas aside and let Him lead. That’s the part I’m not good at. I’m not good at NOT being in control. I’m NOT good at letting God be God when my feelings are hurt.

So here’s my prayer:

Lord, help me to trust that You have a plan to bring restoration to those that are hurt and to those that caused pain. Let me put my own agenda aside. Let me be still and know that You are God. And let me be quiet enough to hear You when You tell me to take action. Let all of my words and actions honor and glorify You in all I do and say. In Jesus’ holy name… Amen!

And with that, I’m putting in a request that this could be a Mean-Free Monday!

Something Uncomfortable: Day 129

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

I have had a morning filled with uncomfortable things. I planned on telling you about them until I heard a loud crash, followed by an awkward silence. I came around the corner and found my two children frozen in terror beside this:

 

My immediate response was a forceful, “Are you kidding me?!?! What happened?”

My kids told me about how they were horsing around under the table when it flipped. They were upset because they knew they were in trouble. And then I noticed this:

They broke the handle off of the Murphy bed cabinet that my dead grandfather made. The drawers came from the first bedroom set that my grandparents had. Are.you.kidding.me? I am a packrat hoarder of things that have sentimental value. My family was going to sell the Murphy bed with the house when my grandfather died. I pitched a fit and they paid a ridiculous amount of money to have this thing shipped from Arizona. I was LIVID to think that my kids damaged it!!!!

And then I looked into my son’s eyes. He was hysterical. Not because he was in trouble, but because he broke the thing that PAPA made. My heart broke.

I sent us all to time out for a moment so we could collect ourselves. After a couple of minutes, I gathered them together and explained that they are WAY more important than any thing that some dead guy made. I told them that we have rules like, “Don’t play under the folding tables,” in order to keep them safe. The cabinet is wobbly and the TV could have easily landed on one of them. I’m sure my husband, the carpenter who specializes in finish work, can fix it. And I told the kids that when we look at that handle we need to remember that they will always be more important than the things we own.

It was hard let that go so quickly… but I had to. My son’s poor little broken heart is way more important than a piece of wood. It’s so important to keep life in perspective and extend grace to the ones we love.

Who do you need to extend grace to today?

Is It a Hill Worth Dying On?

Join the Something Uncomfortable movement on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

This past year has been so emotionally charged for me. There have been two deaths in our family, difficult health situations, emotional reunions, new exposure to old wounds and plenty of unintentionally hurt feelings. As someone who naturally ruminates about everything for long periods of time, I’ve found this year to be particularly difficult.

Obviously, we cannot control what life throws our way. BUT we can control how we react to things. Over the last several days, I have been reflecting on how I want to react especially when I experience interpersonal conflict. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• Realize and remember people are not out to get me (most of the time).
• Determine if the conflict is a hill worth dying on. If it is, go to the person and deal with it directly. If it isn’t, evaluate the situation and see what I can learn about myself from it.
• Determine if I do the same thing to others. If I do… I need to stop.
• Honestly decide if I am overreacting. Am I so hurt because of what was said or done? Or is there a deep seeded issue I need to deal with?  

Clearly, this is going to be a process. And I’m sure I will continue to have the this-is-what-I-think-about-the-situation conversations in the shower. But I am confident that by taking this approach to the stressors in my life, I will be buying less Anxiety Drops.

Have you asked yourself if it is a hill worth dying on or do you fight every battle?