Something Uncomfortable: Day 188

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When reflecting on the past two weeks, I find myself in awe and disbelief. Wow! I mean really… wow! I have been bombarded with so much ugliness that I find myself having a hard time trusting anyone. People really stink sometimes.

While dealing with my poor son’s social anxiety as he adjusts to kindergarten, I was bullied by two unbelievable women at my garage sale. And ALL of the eyewitnesses failed to stand up for me. Instead they listened to the bullies and left with them.

Two days later, we learned that our senior pastor was stepping down from his position at our church. We have been processing the hurt and disappointment that has come from that situation.

Two days after that, it was September 11. Yet another reminder of how broken this world is and how horrible people can be.

Because my heart wasn’t broken enough, some fool decided to verbally vomit an ignorant comment on one of the blog posts regarding the story surrounding my rape. It was just another reminder of how people excuse bad behavior and fail to stand up for victims. Whatever.

To be blunt, people suck. And I’m sick of it. I’m really sick of people being apathetic. I’m sick of people NOT caring. And I’m sick of people thinking it’s alright to be mean. I’m sick of people sucking.

For two weeks, my prayers have been so overwhelming and constant that I feel like my body is physically groaning out to God. Not just for myself… but for the people that suck. And for the people that keep getting hurt by these people. Ironically, I don’t even wish bad things on the mean people. I just want them to be restored into people that aren’t mean.

I’m totally NOT a peace & love hippie person… although I’d like to be. But right now, I’d love to be surrounded with unicorns that poop rainbows. OK, that would be annoying, but you get the point.

All I can do is pray and trust that God knows what He’s doing. I don’t believe that all of this nonsense is part of His plan. His plan was for us to live in the Garden of Eden with the unicorns. But sin messed that up. I DO believe that He has a plan of how to help us out of the mess. However, His rescue plan will only work if we put our own agendas aside and let Him lead. That’s the part I’m not good at. I’m not good at NOT being in control. I’m NOT good at letting God be God when my feelings are hurt.

So here’s my prayer:

Lord, help me to trust that You have a plan to bring restoration to those that are hurt and to those that caused pain. Let me put my own agenda aside. Let me be still and know that You are God. And let me be quiet enough to hear You when You tell me to take action. Let all of my words and actions honor and glorify You in all I do and say. In Jesus’ holy name… Amen!

And with that, I’m putting in a request that this could be a Mean-Free Monday!