Something Uncomfortable: Day 91

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It’s Monday. It’s raining. It’s our over-scheduled, crazy-busy day. It’s an allergy shot day… which means that it’s a take an extra antihistamine day… which means that it’s a Mommy’s-a-little-groggy day. And of course, we’ve been running late from the time we woke up.

I’m sure you can imagine my delight when I realized we needed to squeeze a quick stop at the grocery store into our morning. Did I mention the rain?

I informed the kids that they had to be on their best behavior because we had to get in and out without incident so we could make it to our first appointment on time. They did fairly well, so when they asked to help me scan the groceries in the self-check lane, I felt obligated to let them.

I could have done it faster and more accurately. And I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have had to have the clerk reset the register 3 times and then take us up to the customer service center to retrieve our 35 cents from the coupon that didn’t go through. BUT they had fun. And let’s be honest… can you imagine if we had self-check lanes when we were kids? I would have probably done just about anything to get my hands on one of those! OK, let’s be really honest… I use the self-check lanes because they are faster AND I think they are fun.

Spontaneity in general makes me uncomfortable. But it really makes me uncomfortable when I’m late, wet, groggy and over-scheduled. The smiles on my kiddos faces was worth being uncomfortable.

What has made you uncomfortable recently, but has made the day of a loved one?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 72

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Today has been all about me learning NOT to put unrealistic expectations on myself. This is obviously very difficult for an OCD perfectionist, but whatever... my day has left me little choice.

Yesterday, my sports bra pulled my neck out. Let it sink in. Yes you read it correctly. Don't question it. Just know that these are the things that happen to me... all the time. And they always have. I believe I had to go to Prompt Care as a child on two occasions because I vacuumed my big toe. What? If you lift the vacuum slightly as you pull it toward you, you will not get those silly lines in your carpet. Don't judge... 

Anyway, I did not sleep well last night because of the neck pain. I woke up at 6:00 and took 2 Ibuprofen. Not a great idea seeing as how I rarely take pain meds and I hadn't eaten. As I began to get a bit of a buzz, I stayed in bed and went through the day's schedule:

• Get everyone fed, dressed and ready in a hurry.
• Be at my parents' house to workout by 8:00.
• Be at playgroup at 9:30.
• Home for lunch by 11:30.
• Shower the kids.
• Bake 6 batches of pumpkin muffins (because I had 6 cans of pumpkin and the exact number of eggs for 6 batches, so it must be God's will that I make 6 batches TODAY).
• Blog and do bookwork by the kids' 2:00 nap (clearly I did not do the math on the baking time for the God ordained 6 batches of pumpkin muffins.)
• Spend some quality time playing with my kids after naps.
• Cook chicken and corn on the cob for dinner by 6:00.
• Take a shower
• Get the kids to bed by 7:45.

Let me tell you what really happened:

• By 7:50 this morning, finally convinced myself that working out would not be good for my neck. (And I haven't completely figured out the whole sports bra thing anyway.)
• Threw clothes on the kids and fed them breakfast at 8:15.
• Got to play group at 9:31.
• Repeatedly told my weeping daughter that I could NOT push her on the swing because my neck hurt. And then she refused to ask my friend to help her, even though my friend offered to help.
• Got my kids home at 11:20 so my husband could shower them because my neck hurt.
• Fed my kids left over cold pizza (which they like) and bananas at 12:30.
• Started making pumpkin muffins like a crazy person because I had an appointment with the chiropractor at 2:40.
• Conceded that God doesn't care how many batches of pumpkin muffins I make around 1:30. 5 was enough and I needed to get to the doctor.
• Told my daughter she had 5 minuted to FINALLY FINISH HER LUNCH at 1:45!
• Got to the chiropractor at 2:43.
• Put the kids down for naps at 4:00.
• Poured some coffee and started this post at 4:15.

Now ask me what's for dinner... how about one the 131 pumpkin muffins I made today? 

I swear, today has involved one issue after another that has forced me to let "it" go. Maybe if I stop scheduling our days down to the minute, it won't be so uncomfortable when life happens and the schedule has to be scrapped.

Please tell me I'm not alone. Does anyone else continually put unrealistic expectations on themselves and then have to deal with the disappointment when you don't meet those expectations?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 49

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Today has been one of those days. We made it to school just in time to find out that I had forgotten to bring a family picture for my son. So my daughter and I ran home and back. Which made us late for my allergy shot appointment. Upon arriving there, I realized that I had forgotten to take my antihistamine this morning... awesome.

You see, Mondays are our crazy days. We have also already been to the chiropractor, visited my grandmother, and showered the kids. And we have only made it to nap time... there is still more to come. So as you can imagine, throwing off the OCD lady's schedule, is not helpful.

I am happy to report that I have met today's challenges with only a mild amount of anxiety and NO tears. Why? Because I refuse to be comfortable in my anxieties. It's so much easier to fall apart at the seams because that's what I know and that's who I have condemned myself to be. It's harder to make the effort to truly change the core of my being, but it's worth it. The freedom that is coming with that change is proving to be well worth the effort.

Are you finding freedom or are you continuing to live the life you have condemned yourself to live?

Something Uncomfortable: Day 24

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When my 3-year-old daughter woke up from her nap yesterday she began crying inconsolably. This was not surprising because her allergies have been acting up. At one point, while she was wailing, she threw her head back, dropped to her knees and collapsed on the floor. I asked her why she was crying. She said it was because she wanted to play on my phone... which she never asked to do. Who knows why she was crying about it? Clearly my sweet baby girl had turned into Sybil. Nice.

I went ahead and cancelled our playgroup for today. My friend and her son had planned to play with me and my two angelic children... I was pretty sure Sybil would have scared them into NEVER coming over again. Plus I'm only assuming it's allergies... but who knows? I hate cancelling. Thankfully my friend understood.

Sybil is still here today and apparently she is teaching my son the tricks of the trade. At one point she made the following statement: "I'm going to take my shoes off, sit on the couch and just be grumpy!" Awesome!!! Shortly after, my son proudly showed me that he had written his name ON the artwork table. I was NOT impressed.

But here it the VERY COOL thing... I haven't freaked out about any of it. Plans have changed and my children are seemingly possessed, and I'm just rolling with it. What?!?!?! I know, right? It's really weird. If I didn't know better, I would think I had been popping pills. The truth is that by forcing myself to be uncomfortable everyday, I am learning how to handle life's challenges better. I'm actually taking my thoughts captive and processing situations before reacting to them. AND I'm continuing to function through it all. CRAZY!

Sybil is calling from her bed... I guess that's all for now :)

Something Uncomfortable: Day 21

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So apparently today is going to be all about going with the flow and NOT freaking out as plans change... continually.

My daughter forgot to put the potty seat on the toilet before she sat down. After her quick swim, she needed a shower. No big deal, except we were on our way out the door heading to get my allergy shots.

After checking in at the doctor, my son announced that he had to poop and he couldn't wait until we got called back. I HATE walking away from the receptionist after checking in... I experience great anxiety. Shocking, I know. Once in the bathroom, my daughter decided she had to poop. After 4 automatic flushes, she admitted she didn't have to go. Ugh!

When I finally got back to the shot nurse, she commented on my workout shorts. I told her I was planning to exercise after the shots. She promptly told me that I can't workout for 2 hours after the shots. Apparently I could overheat which would release too much of the allergens into my body resulting in a BAD situation... especially since "satan's bushes" are blooming. Good to know. But now my schedule is messed up.

It's only 9:30 and my day is off to an uncomfortable and unpredictable start. I guess it's time to put my big girl panties on and remember that I'm not in control anyway... God is. It's time I stop pretending that I am.

Something Uncomfortable: Day 7

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There have just been a couple of things so far today:

1. I took a bite of my son's ham sandwich. What? I don't like ham. It actually used to trigger migraines for me. Since I was introducing a new lunch meat to my kids, I thought it was only fair for me to try it too. I really liked it. (By the way, I finally found a lunch meat that does not have any food coloring in it: Hormel's Natural Choice. It doesn't have nitrates either.)
2. My kids wanted to help check out the groceries today. I was in a hurry and wanted to say, "No." But I didn't. I let them help. I'll admit I was a little grumpy about it, but it was a step in the right direction.

I think the biggest realization I made today is that my attitude is changing. There are fewer "Heck No" moments and more "I guess this is a good opportunity to be uncomfortable" moments.

Oh... and I just invited a friend over to my very dirty house tomorrow. Maybe we can watch our kids write their names in the dust on my furniture. I'm living on the edge here folks. Watch out!