Life’s Lemonade Lesson #2

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Life’s Lemonade Lesson #1: Go out of your way to be thankful and never miss an opportunity to lift someone up.

Life’s Lemonade Lesson #2: Don’t let your kids get away with murder just because life is hard right now.

Life is hard. And sometimes it’s really hard.

Sometimes I think, as parents, we feel so guilty when life gets difficult that we allow our kids to behave badly and act out. I think we are actually doing them a great disservice when we let that happen.

The last three months in Schneiderland have been hard. My mom had her hip replaced in February. I injured my back at the same time. On Easter, my daughter had pinkeye which turned out to be an adenovirus. The entire family got it. It was BRUTAL. No sooner did we get over that then my husband got a bad case of bursitis in his knee that led to bleeding in his entire leg. The poor guy still has swelling and I go down with meningitis on OUR BIRTHDAY which was 3 days before Mother’s Day. Needless to say, we are meeting our insurance deductible early this year.

We spent 3 or 4 weeks helping my parents after her surgery. Life was far from normal. This was particularly difficult for my sweet babies who like and seem to need order. And there was some whining. Understandably so. We quickly learned that this was an amazing opportunity from God to teach our children a few things:

• Life is unpredictable. You have to be able to go with the flow when it becomes necessary.
• When people are hurt, you help. Why? Because being hurt or sick is hard enough, doing it alone is impossible. That’s why God wants us to live in community.
• It’s lonely when you are in pain. Being present with someone is an amazing and FREE gift we can give them to help them heal faster.

So when I spent 5 days in the hospital, my kids knew the drill. Life is not going to be normal for awhile, but it’s going to be alright… even if alright is a new normal. They have had a few moments, but some friendly reminders have quickly gotten them back on track.

Look, I’m not crazy nor am I unrealistic. We are all going to have our moments when stuff goes wrong. I even think it’s healthy to have an ugly cry or two along the way. What I don’t think is ok is to wallow in it. And I really don’t want to raise my little people to be wallowers. God is too big to waste our time wallowing. And people are too amazing to waste our time with them behaving badly.

Kids are stronger than we often give them credit for. Don’t waste opportunities to help them to grow even stronger and to help build their character.

Life’s Lemonade Lessons

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I am on day 14 of my second battle with viral spinal meningitis. Yeah, you read it correctly. Meningitis almost killed me 15 years ago and here we are again. Fortunately, this is some other random virus which is NOT deadly. Unfortunately, I’m having a MUCH harder time battling this one. I’ll be alright, but man, this thing is doing a number on me.

Last week, I spent 5 days quarantined in the hospital. I don’t remember most of it because I was in pretty bad shape. I mean there is at least one person who visited me that I barely remember seeing.

When I was awake and with it, I wasn’t doing a whole bunch. The TV was mounted near the ceiling, making it painful to watch because of my head and neck pain. So I spent a lot of time thinking. And observing. And praying. And reflecting.

For whatever reason, I haven’t spent a whole lot of time feeling sorry for myself. Trust me, I’ve had my moments, but I’ve just been so overwhelmed by the blessings I’m experiencing that there’s just not much room to wallow.

You know the saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?” Through this, I feel like I’ve learned a few of Life’s Lemonade Lessons that are worth sharing. So expect some posts containing my thoughts.

I will leave you with the general theme of my Lemonade Lessons: Every situation you are in whether they are good, bad or ugly are opportunities for God to grow you into the person He wants you to be. And I think most of us would agree that if He wants you to learn something, He will keep giving you opportunities to learn it. So to make life easier, do your best to learn the lesson the first time. (And NEVER pray for patience. Trust me, He can come up with endless opportunities for you to get it.)

I hope you are enjoying today’s blessings!

Our Friend Was Dating a Serial Rapist: Installment #8

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The Hit List

I later found out that in the months that followed, Pete repeatedly broke into Tina’s house. He left roses, lingerie and other “gifts” in her bedroom.

Throughout the fall semester, Pete stalked Ashley at her college. He would be waiting for her outside her classes… just standing there… watching her.

She contacted the police back home. Apparently Pete had a warrant out for his arrest for a check fraud charge AND for some other unknown charge. The latter must have been significant because the police gave Ashley an alarm to sound should he ever show up again. They intended to come get him. The police typically don’t travel long distance to pick up a guy for check fraud… we imagined the worst. Pete never surfaced at her school again. But it is our understanding that he did serve time in another state for something.

Ashley found out from John that Pete actually had a hit list. And we were all on it. Clearly Pete was mentally ill. It’s hard to believe that this top celebrated athlete was a serial rapist with a laundry list of offenses.

I Couldn’t Do It Anymore

In talking with other sexual assault victims, I have found that we tend to do one of two things. We either never want to have sex again or we sleep with as many people as possible in an attempt to prove that we are not broken. Sadly, I chose the second option.

For me the next several years were spent drinking, getting high, and sleeping around. I was severely depressed and continually faced the consequences of leading a promiscuous lifestyle. I contracted a couple of life-threatening STDs and I had an abortion when I became pregnant at 19. I was unable to have healthy relationships with men or women. I basically floundered about for quite some time.

So I’m sure it’s of no surprise that I stopped talking to Ashley during our freshman year. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t handle hearing about what Pete was doing. I couldn’t handle the constant reminder that I couldn’t go back home because everyone in town (except Ashley and John) treated me like the dirty whore Pete said I was. I just couldn’t handle life. So I ran away from it and hid in the new town where my mother lived… and I hid in my drunken stupors and highs… and I hid in the false comfort I found as men continued to use me.

In the next installment: Forgiveness & Healing: Stepping From Fear to Freedom

Previous Installments:

Installment #1

Installment #2
Installment #3 
Installment #4
Installment #5
Installment #6
Installment #7