Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!

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While waiting to get into the fair yesterday, I overheard a conversation that went something like this:

Mom: Can you just say that you are four?

Little Girl: But Mommy, I'm five.

Mom (sternly & irritated): For the next few minutes you're 4. Just say you are 4!

Wonder why your kids lie to you? She saved $3 and taught her daughter the invaluable lesson that it's OK to lie when it's convenient and when you'll benefit from it. It's just so sad.

As I’ve shared before, I spent a good portion of my life lying. It always got me into trouble. Half the time I couldn’t keep my story straight. It truly was a big mess. And I did it all to protect myself from the consequences of the choices I made. In my late twenties, I made the conscious decision NOT to lie anymore. This doesn’t mean that I tell everyone everything. Sometimes it’s none of their business, sometimes it’s not age appropriate, and sometimes they just won’t benefit from knowing. No matter what the case is, there is really no good reason to lie.

What about if someone asks if her pants make her look fat? I hate that question. People shouldn’t ask it if they don’t want the truth (myself included). I typically try to answer as kindly as possible… they are not the most flattering pants you own. Seriously… we need to stop asking that question!

What about Santa? As I’ve shared before, we don’t do Santa at our house. We talk about the real St. Nicolas and his ministry, but Santa doesn’t visit our house. Is Santa fun? Sure. Except the whole you won’t get presents if your naughty thing… but that’s another soapbox that I don’t need to climb on right now. The bottom line is that I can’t justify lying to my kids and then getting mad at them if they lie to me. They know Mommy & Daddy put the money under their pillows and take their teeth and they think it’s pretty cool that we are sneaky enough to do it without waking them up.

Even if you think I’m crazy to not lie to my kids about Santa, I'm sure you can admit that you don’t like when people lie to you. No one does. I’ve never heard someone say they would elect someone to office because he’s such a great liar. I can’t remember anyone saying they thought their spouse was super clever in their attempt to cover his/her affair. If it’s not alright to lie about everything, why is it alright to lie about some things? And who gets to decide what lies are white lies verses big nasty lies? I’m here to tell you that the little girl at the fair was horrified that her mom was making her lie and I can guarantee that she’s not going to understand the difference when her mother yells at her for lying about something at home.

I make plenty of mistakes every day. I clearly don’t walk on water, nor do to I profess to. This is just something that I’ve been convicted about for a long time. Trust me, there have been plenty of situations that I’ve wanted to lie about, but I’ve chosen not to. And sometimes the consequences have been brutal. But as a parent, I know I can look at my kids and honestly tell them that I won’t lie to them and I expect the same in return.

OK, that’s my soapbox for today. Now I’m off to work on one of my many character flaws by doing Something Uncomfortable.