He Loves Us Beyond Our Understanding

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This week's chapter in Francis Chan's Crazy Love asks us if we have ever really questioned God's love for us. My answer is simply, "No." No matter what life throws at me, I NEVER wonder if God loves me. I often wonder why He loves me, but never if He does.

No, I'm not some super spiritual person, nor am I better than anyone else. You see, God chose to rescue me from myself in spite of all of my ugliness. Therefore, there is no doubt in my mind, my heart or my soul that God loves me.

I have often told people that I have broken all ten commandments. The common response is, "Except for the murder one, right?" Nope, I've even broken that one. I had an abortion when I was 19. I've also committed adultery, lied, cheated, done drugs, slept with more men than I can remember, drank myself stupid, been horribly mean to people and flipped God off (both literally and figuratively). You name it, I've likely done it. And therefore, I pass no judgement on those who make different choices than I do.

In my early 20s, I found myself being chased by God. He bombarded me with His love and did not stop until He caught me. I surrendered my life to Him and then life became perfect and singing birds started to follow me wherever I went. Obviously, I'm kidding... just read my other blog posts.

What did happen, is that I became filled with hope and peace and His love. I was also riddled with guilt for my past choices. It took some work to get rid of the guilt, but I did. All of those choices I made don't define who I am or what I am. They were just bad choices. I now know that I am a child of God who makes less bad choices. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty, because God forgave me for my mistakes. If He can forgive me, I should certainly forgive myself.

Why does He love me? I have no idea. If I were God, I would have counted my losses and started over a long time ago. Aren't we all glad that I'm not God? Since He has chosen to let us keep going, I figure I can show my appreciation for His "Crazy Love" by telling other people about it.

So if you are someone who does struggle with believing that God loves you or if you are someone who doesn't believe He is even there, keep searching. Keep asking questions. Keep seeking answers. Open yourself up to actually find what you are looking for. If He would chase a train wreck like me, He chasing everyone. If He hasn't already, I hope He catches you soon.