Something Uncomfortable: Day 12

http://www.facebook.com/SomethingUncomfortableSteppingFromFearToFreedom

My husband and I have often talked about putting together a list of Sleepover Safety Rules for when our kids sleepover at other people's homes. To date, they have not had a sleepover anywhere, so we have never fleshed it out. My parents are going to have the kids spend the night in a couple of weeks, so this seemed like a good time to make it happen.

The thought of telling my parents about the rules made me nervous and uncomfortable. The thought of having this conversation with the parents of my kids' friends makes my heart race and makes me want to vomit. Why? Because I like when people like me and do not like when they think I'm an overprotective and paranoid person. But what I like even less is the thought of something happening to my kids and having to live with the fact that I didn't speak up because I was too afraid of what people would think.

I shared the list with my parents this morning. I didn't think they would have a problem with the rules, because I can't imagine they would break any of them, even if I didn't tell them about them. At least I would hope not. This was more about creating a norm for our family and not making assumptions about anyone when it comes to our kids' safety. 

My parents did poke fun a little... but that's OK. It was appropriate and funny. What's important is that I grew a little bit more confident in the process.

In case you are wondering, here are the rules. 

1. There will be no alcohol consumed by anyone while our kids are in your home.
2. Do you have any firearms? If so, are they locked up properly?
3. Our children are not allowed to use the computer and internet without appropriate adult supervision.
4. Our children must ask us if a movie is appropriate before watching it at your home.
5. There will be no swimming unless we are asked.
6. There will be no showers or baths without our knowledge.
7. Our kids cannot go into a bedroom with another person and shut the door.
8. An adult must be home and we need to know who that is.
9. We want to look at the home and assess any potential safety issues regarding furniture, fireplaces, etc.
10. While they are small, please be sure the children know when you are using the oven or stove.
11. We want to know where the kids will be sleeping and with whom.

Of course some of these don't apply yet because our kids are too little, but we might as well put them all out there. And we reserve the right to modify them or add to them any time as we see fit. And people have the right to be uncomfortable with our rules and they can choose not to have our kids sleepover. Better that than the awkward conversation about our expectations not being met because no one knew what they were.

I have friends with older children that do this. I also Googled the concept and  found several sites that suggest doing something similar. This makes me feel a bit better, but I'm sure there will be many uncomfortable conversations in the future regarding our list. Parenting is so hard!